Connecting With Your Children

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My children are my true blessing! They are what makes me wealthy. I look at my children and I think about all the times that God has extended grace to me through them.  There are times when I feel so frustrated with my kids and God reminds me of just how much they are my truest treasure. On those days the only thing that helps is me dropping everything by stopping what I’m doing and focusing on them. Even when they aren’t living up to my expectations, I know that they are still loved through all of their faults - loved by God and I will love them the same.

As a mother to three kids, I’m often feeling stretched with giving them what they need individually. I know that all three of my kids are different, not just in age but in personality.

Matthew 18:10
“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”

For my children, there are certain ways I know I can connect with them individually and together as a whole.

Pray with them
My husband and I each give the kids their individual time to pray. By that, I mean we create opportunities for them to pray. When Mommy isn’t feeling well, someone in the family is needing prayer, or if they are feeling lonely or anxious, we ask them to say a prayer. This is encouraged followed with a hug and a smile. This not only gives them a deeper connection with us but a connection with The Lord. During our prayer time, I've noticed that they feel more secure, confident and open to pray when they pray with us and we allow them to lead in that area.

Give them your full attention
Do you ever feel like your kids interrupt you right when you’re about to do something? I know for me as a mom, I am wearing many many hats and I can easily get side-tracked trying to keep up with it all. What I realized is that we talk to our kids when we want their full attention. When it’s time to return that same energy, it seems we don’t have time to just stop. I’ve noticed a few times in wanting to talk to my kids about something and I would require them to turn off the TV, put down the phones and games. I demand that attention from them. But the learning lessons comes from when our children need us to hear them. I've found that it's a total contradiction to what I require when I want to be heard. This is not a time for us as parents to say “Do what I say, not what I do”. Putting your phone down, giving them eye contact or going to an area that won’t be a distraction, to allow that undivided attention really helps them connect with you on a deeper level. It shows them that you are willing to make them a priority in that moment.

Show them that you care
THIS IS BIG! Showing your kids that you care is one of the most easiest things you can do. Responding to them in a positive way. Ways I try to connect with my kids is through humor. I noticed early on that my facial expressions comes off a bit hard. Even though we have serious talks, doesn't mean it has to be a hard talk. So I work hard of showing them that I am open to hard conversations. I take pride in taking those moments and making them as light and positive as possible. A few other ways is to smile, ask them open ended questions, hug, acknowledging their feelings and to praise their efforts. I'm big on praising their efforts right in the moment of them doing something good. The #1 thing to do when showing your kids that you care is planning time for them. Being intentional with your children is very important!

Psalm 127:3-5
"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.”

Show up when they need you
Do you ever feel like parenting is never-ending? I do. I’m being 100% transparent here. I’m a planner. I plan things and for good reason. Growing up, I didn’t have the type of parents who showed up to any of my events. Softball, cheerleading, meet the teacher, etc. Now that I’m a parent, and as our kids start to participate in things that they love, we try to make it a priority to go cheer them on and be the loudest parent in the room. What I’ve learned about my kids when we show up is that they are building trust. When we make the effort to show up and be present for the things that they are interested in is a really big deal for our kids. I take a hard stance on not making myself too busy for them. So in this season of raising them, I make it a priority not to make something or someone else more important that they are. In the moments when things become very stressful (I just can’t be in 3 places at one time) the Lord reminds me that even when I fall short, they still see my efforts. That’s the thing, your children will still be happy with knowing that you tried.

In the world of parenting and connecting with your blessing, don’t get discouraged during the process. Kids can be challenging and it may seem that no matter what you do it's not good enough. What I realize is having moments where they see that I am most vulnerable they begin to appreciate all that I try to do for them. If nothing else, your kids will at least think of you when they face any struggle and know that at least one (or two) people in this world cares for them. And sometimes, that’s enough.

Please comment below and share how you connect with your kids. What’s something special that you do together? I would love to hear from you.

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Peace and blessings!