Nesbitt Pantry Organization - Before & After

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For years, I’ve been throwing things into our pantry without a 2nd thought. There were days when I felt that we didn’t have anything to eat. And I would end up buying the same things maybe 4 to 5 times, not realizing that I’ve already had it in stock. I also had an issue with wanting to use something to prepare dinner, only to find out that it expired TWO YEARS AGO! (slaps face)

So one day, I was fed up with trying to create a grocery list that I just decided to start going through everything we had. I know that I’m not alone in this. I have the best of intentions to stay organized, but it just doesn’t happen the way I’d like or something comes up that takes me away from this task.

Below are photos of our “before” pantry look. When we built our home, I had high hopes of making sure that once we moved in, we be good stewards of what God blessed us with. Once we moved in, life happened.

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My plan was to switch out the shelving to have wooden shelves installed. That never happened, of course. I decided to work with what I have. No need in making changes to something that isn’t broken, right?

So first, I had to realize that the purpose of keeping an organized pantry is to save money, time and food. It gives you an idea before going out to shop for more food, of what you already have in stock. That keeps you from over spending.

ikea trip

So my bestie, Myria over at Dinkins Everyday Life, and I headed over to IKEA to get started. We tried so hard to get everything we needed (but who can actually go to IKEA and not pick up EVERYTHING?!) She was a first time IKEA shopper. It took us hours but we made it through. Lol

We literally went through every section to see exactly what we needed. The last thing we wanted was to buy things we knew wouldn’t use. So we started big for storage solution and worked our way down to smaller items.

Ikea cart

So once we returned to our homes, we started to clear out our pantry. Boy oh boy! It was so much stuff.

The clearing

It took me almost a week to get our entire kitchen organized. But it was so worth this small family project because we were able to explain to the kids what our expectations were as to how to keep this up. And now that we were able to clear it all out, we were able to get a clear vision of what we needed for meal planning. We recently put ourselves on a weekly budge for food and this so helps me and my mind.

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Here are a few more photos of our finished pantry and kitchen.

finished pantry
small pantry2
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small containers

I think we did a good job because Mr. Nesbitt was all up in this with helping me maintain a cleaner kitchen. Thank you Husband!

clean kitchen

Okay, can we all stop and scream right here? #happydance WHAT. A. DIFFERENCE! 👏 I love a clutter free home!

Well, we hope you loved our story on how we were able to tackle this beast. We have so much more to share. I’m hoping to share my next Aldi grocery haul with you. Stay tuned and have a great weekend!

Godly Friendships: How Important Are They?

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Happy Resurrection Day!!

Disclaimer: This blog post will not be about Resurrection Sunday. That’s the purpose of attending church service.

Yesterday, we took the kids out on a walk. Resurrection weekend was by far, the windiest of all weekends in Florida. The sun was out and the skies were clear. So, we took advantage of the weather for once and said “What the heck! Let’s go for a walk!”

While out, Ashon and I started talking about friendships and what they mean to us. We’ve been through so much with past and present friends. And I think it’s safe to say that social media plays a big part in it how we all interact with each other. It’s become unhealthy amongst friends and friendships lately.  My biggest concern is that we’ve been apart of friendships where we have given so much of ourselves outside of social media that we feel that we’re putting in a lot more effort that what’s needed just to stay connected. And most times, it’s with no effort from the other parties.  I made it very clear to him that I have no desire to be in any type of relationship where I am doing all the work. Those type of relationships are like leaches. They suck all the energy out of you! You know the kind, the kind when you’re constantly giving, sacrificing, helping, calling, texting, etc. Social media is now designed where most people are happy just looking at your posts and commenting to connect with you. And I despise that to my core!! Grrrrr… {Mean face!}

I hate it! Hate it! Hate it!

Whatever happened to real authentic connection? Two willing parties who want to spend good quality time together? Are we no longer in a world where a group of people can only connect by texting and liking posts?  

God created us to function and exist in communities together. We were created to rely on each other to fellowship, encourage, ask difficult questions, to offer Godly counsel, to keep and hold each other accountable and to pray with and for each other. We were not created to judge, condemn, neglect, envy, covet or be jealous of one another.  

Why is this so important?  Because friendships should glorify God! Simply put.

So I wanted to go over and look at what the Bible has to say about our friends and purpose in our lives.

Bad Company Corrupts Good Character.  1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.””

I’ve noticed of the last few years that I’ve become very selective with who I allow into my space. I’ve also noticed that I’m trying to hold on to friendships that I’ve outgrown. Being selective in my friendships can come off as me being closed and guarded… and maybe I am – I’ll admit that. And for good reason. I’m so selective, that when someone shows me something that is so unhealthy or make me feel that I can’t be who I am – I’m out! I’ve realized upon meeting people, that there are so many who want to be our friends, but we can’t even discuss the Bible with them. I don’t want us to hide who we are and our love for Jesus. At some point, if I’m led to always have to compromise myself and my faith, then tell me, who’s the bigger influence?

Iron sharpens Iron. Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Or NLT “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend”

Let’s first establish that being a Christian means you are set apart. (And please allow me go on record to say that this doesn’t mean that you are better than someone else who is not a Christian – It simply just means “set apart!”) And what that means is to “not conform to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” You (and I) were not made to be around everyone or try to make friends with people God never ended us to be friends with. Everyone doesn’t deserve a front row seat in your life. You want to be around people who are also chasing after His heart. I so desire Godly relationships in my life that will glorify God. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that, I must live for God the best way I can and in doing so, I will know who falls into the category of a “friend who sharpens a friend”. It will show! You do the same and your cup will run over because of it.

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Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”

Be selective about who you let in. You don’t have to be mean, but it may require that you slowly stop spending time with or calling that person. Guarding your heart also fall into the category of a toxic friendship. A toxic friendship is one that makes you feel bad about the good things in your life. They are not supportive in those times. It causes an imbalance in your life and other relationships. You’ll find that you will always have to watch what you say to that person and how you say it.  A true friend will know how to love you at all times and will always see the best in you and know that your intentions are pure. Regardless of the season, if that friend can remain the same throughout all their struggles (and yours), prays with you, lift you up, tries to help you during hard times, encourages you….keep THAT friend!

True friendships are so hard to find. So, when you find that friend who will walk with you through life’s struggles and help you along the way, keep them! Why? Because life is hard. And it’s makes going through life a little easier.

Be blessed, friend!

 

A Life-Favored Friend

Life-Favored Friend

I’m not even sure how I want to start this post. This subject has been on my heart for some time now and I’m going to speak on it because I don’t mind bringing up topics we seem to want to overlook. And as a mother to a daughter, this has to be said.
It has a lot to do with a spirit of our daughters. The other night, I overheard our daughter telling her cousin/bestie something that didn’t exude love in any way. It’s nothing new because I’ve caught them both saying some not-so-nice things to each other. But when I hear MY child, I give her this look and I’m like “Oh, no Ma’am”!!  Now you see, I’m one of those parents who may never grow out of being raised in the 80’s <chuckles>. So seeing her do and say certain things, just won’t fly with me. I won’t apologize for my hard stance when it comes to correcting my children.  

If I see it, I’m correcting it, right then and there. Yes, they are kids – just 5-years-old and I know that most times they are only doing what is done to them, be it at school, church or in the home. For me, there should never be a moment where two 5-year-olds should get away with saying things like “I’m better than you”, “I hate you”, “I don’t love you”. Like where does that come from?

Then I realized we have grown women – fully grown adult women who act the same way. And the hate is real!

There are grown women coveting right now. A woman who are secretly jealous, envious and feel the need to compete with you and you have no idea. And some of those woman (not all) are displaying this behavior in front of their daughters. And it’s sad.

As a mother, I try my best to see my daughter the way that God sees her. But I am not naive in my thinking to assume that she is always on her best behavior and that she can’t do anything wrong. Because when I was her age, I was no better than she is today. So when I hear things like that come out of my daughters mouth, things I know she’s doing out of retaliation, I am quick on my feet to remind her who she belongs to… Her Daddy, Her Mommy and her Lord and Savior.

My constant reminder is
We don’t speak like that. Always be a friend and when you speak the truth, speak the truth in love.” “Your words should be used to build up and not tear down… do you understand me!?

When we as adult women realize how wonderfully made we are, we will stop showing our daughters ungodly behaviors. Me included.

I made a vow a few weeks ago, that as long as I am able to, we as her parents are responsible for who she’s allowed to associate with. Who she’s allowed to call “friend”. It will be our job to protect her from malice, jealousy, envy, and catty behaviors that is displayed in other little girls. It is our job to continuously correct her, cover her in prayer so that those seeds that are planted take root.

Simply put – there is no room for it!

So where does that leave me? It leaves me having to separate myself from those same type of women.

As mothers, it is our responsibility to be exactly who we want our daughters to be. It is our job not to ignore the signs.

My Breaking Point
One evening I saw another little girl whose mother allowed her to treat my daughter so harshly with her words. Her mother didn’t say one word to stop it. In that moment, I sat there in disbelief. I felt stuck! I wanted to say something but it was like the Holy Spirit wouldn’t allow me to speak. (Please tell me I’m not the only one who has gone through this). I could literally feel myself wanting to yell at her. But what made matters worse is that Zoe-Grace then in turn, turned and did it to another little girl. I was devastated! It made me aware of what I needed to do.

Let’s face it, jealousy, envy, manipulation and feeling the need to be in competition with someone is no different than hating someone. They are all learned behaviors.

I want to go on record to say that my number one priority is not to be my daughters best friend but to be a consistent display of love, peace and support in her life. To not be afraid of her hating my gutts when she doesn’t get her way (because I really don’t care), and to make sure she is seen and treated fairly and equally because that is what we expect from her.

Here are my affirmations for Zoe-Grace:

Daughter Affirmations

We chose a strong name for our girl, and we know she is already who God made her to be. 

Zoe-Grace Ruth
Life-Favored Friend

 
Bestie Cousins

Sister/Cousins

bestie cousin2
bestie cousin1

My Guilt Free Sunday

Sunday morning is like breathing for the first time. I’m so not in the mood to see anyone or go anywhere outside of just going to church at our Noon service.

For me, I’m on “go” 6 days a week! And throughout my week I feel pulled in 100 different directions by people who have no desire to know how we’re doing. But that doesn’t seem to matter to most people. I am now realizing that there are those who want it all. To hang out, go places, come over and talk for hours and hours during my work weeks and all I can do is say “I can’t, I have to work!”. The truth is I AM ALWAYS WORKING! <screaming while I’m banging my head against the wall>
I work as an Insurance Adjuster from 12-9 PM. Most times I try to go in early and work a 10-7 shift but that can’t always happen when Ashon and I are dedicated to homeschooling our two youngest kids in the mornings.

I get so frustrated with people who try to make me feel bad for not reaching out to them. To be honest, most days, the thought of calling people never crosses my mind because I always assume they are just as busy as we are. So as a wife and a mother, my thought is going to always think the best and say a prayer for them as they’ve crossed my mind - and keep it moving!
Far too often, I’m put in a position right when I’m tending to my sick kid. Someone who feels that I should answer my phone each time they call. I feel stuck having to make a choice, “Do I answer this call or do I continue to give my child my undivided attention?” More than likely, I’m picking my child.

So when Sunday rolls around, I’m relaxing, turning my phone off, sleeping in, having alone time with my husband, cooking a FABULOUS dinner and spending time with my family. There are 6 days during my week that I am not able to do this so Sunday is OUR day.

Here’s a news flash:

not ignoring you

My prayer during this time is that God keeps the relationships/friendships that He’s purposed for us to have while Ashon and I go through this busy season. For us we are in a season of making huge sacrifices for our children. A lot of people don’t understand and some don’t want to - and that’s okay. But for those who do, thank you! We are not in a position to explain where we are right now.

rest

To be still and rest on Sunday is something I take very seriously. This is an intentional act! I don’t want to run out to the mall or go to the movies. I get an high on just resting. I was raised to be a busy body and most times I still am, but my husband is not. We’ve found a happy balance to making our Sunday’s our day of rest. It’s intended purpose was to stop being busy, not about resting in order to be more productive with work or other activities, it’s about focusing on God. With that I will never feel any guilt because I’ve declined an invitation to hang out.

Psalm 127:1-2

"Unless the Lord builds a house, the builders’ work is useless. Unless the Lord protects a city, sentries do no good. It is senseless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, fearing you will starve to death; for God wants his loved ones to get their proper rest."

Find what fills your heart, what energizes you and helps you find joy on your day of rest - a deeper connection with God. Once you find that, pursue it with passion and never apologize for it because it will change your life and God will bless you for it.

Everyday In December Photo Challenge

Thanksgiving is over and we had a wonderful day of just relaxing and spending time together.

We had a big breakfast yesterday. Then the boys went to the community clubhouse to partake in “Thanksgiving Football” with a few of our neighbors.

Nesbitt Breakfast Muffins
Thanksgiving Football
thick sliced bacon

While they were gone, we started watching the 2018 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, which turned out to be a disaster. For some reason no one could actually lip sync well. Ha ha! The kids were mortified!! It was very entertaining to say the least.

Now that we are officially in the Christmas Season, I wanted to do something fun, light-hearted and memorable.

As you know, I love taking photos. What better time to take them than now? It’s time to end the year with a whole lot of photo-taking fun. Yes, it’s going to be busy with all the craziness that the end of year brings… but think of all the brilliant photo-taking opportunities. So get out your camera or phone and get ready to start making memories with family and friends. Anyone can join in! Below, check out the details and if I’ve missed anything, or you have any questions, leave them in the comments and I’ll get back to you.

HOW TO PLAY!

Check out the December photo a day list below.

Each day look at the daily prompt and take a photo according to whatever the prompt is. For example for day 1 the prompt is “Mug”, so, take a photo of your favorite mug or cup of coffee or tea (be as creative as you want with your own unique spin on it). The photos should be whatever you’re doing at some point during your day before 12 Noon. It’s a great way to see what everyone is doing during your morning time, be it early or late morning, where ever they are in the world.

Once you’ve taken the photo, share it. You can share it where you want, (Ex: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Blogs or Pinterest) On Facebook you can share on your personal page and on Everyday Nesbitt’s Facebook page and upload it to my wall. If you’re joining in on Twitter, Instagram – add the hashtag #EDNPhotoChallenge. These are ways you can check out other people’s photos. You can browse through them on my Facebook page. Or on Instagram or Twitter just search for the #EDNPhotoChallenge hashtag to see them all.

Each day I’ll be picking my favorites, make a collage and post them on Instagram and Facebook. To have your photos in the running you can just share them to my Facebook page or the #EDNPhotoChallenge Instagram feed, or both.

Please download this image, keep it as a daily reminder to refer back to daily.

Nesbitt Photo Challenge

I am so hoping you all join me in this activity. I can’t wait to see what you guys post.
Don’t forget to share!

The Power of Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankfulness and Gratitude

I'm so thankful for life. Don't worry, nothing major has happened. It just seems that the older I get the more I've become at peace with where I am in life. Ashon and I have been in this place where no matter how crazy the world becomes, to not conform to it (Romans 12:2). No, not to be all dignified or righteous, which in most cases it may seem that way on the outside looking in, but to be more convicted in our beliefs to not feel the pressure of doing what everyone else does. That is what I'm most thankful for.

Yes, I am thankful for many, many things… 

My Health
My Marriage
My Family
My Job

You know the basics…

But my thankfulness and gratitude goes beyond me being thankful for just those things. I am fully aware that life is better than I deserve. I strive for gratitude on a daily basis, considering how fortunate I am to just be a live. Not in just good health and materialistic things but just to be here breathing is enough for me. 

This world is so full of suffering and hardships. Often times we find ourselves in situations where we are disappointed and full of regret.  I can think back to when I was much younger not really understand all that life had to offer. I was in a phase where I felt that I deserved to have it all - which was a very selfish and simple minded place to be.

I am thankful that my children are developing their own minds to know what is Holy and what is not.  

I am grateful for my life’s challenges - and for those challenges to help me become who I am today.

I am thankful for having to have the ability to home-school our children with no regrets.

I am grateful for the love that’s in my life - for letting me live a life knowing what love is truly means.

I am thankful that God is who He says He is.

THE MEANING OF THANKFUL: GRATEFUL, APPRECIATIVE, FILLED WITH GRATITUDE AND RELIEVED.

There is so much power in gratitude. Having the ability to be grateful gives us the ability to express and feel appreciation. It makes us better mentally, physically and spiritually. It helps us to look at life through a completely different lens.

If you’re reading this, please comment below and share with me your personal reason for being grateful. Don’t stop there, if you can, please give tips on how you remain in a state of thankfulness and gratitude.

Making Small Changes

Making Small Changes

I want to share something with you. Something I feel that I have kept a secret for quiet a while. Well, only my immediate family and a few close friends may only know about. For about 3 years, I've suffered from an unhealthy gut. It all started with GERD and acid reflux. Normally, I thought it was due to pregnancy so I dealt with it. A few years went by and I ended up in the ER with pain in my stomach. I found out during that visit that I had "fatty liver" the Physician asked me if I was a drinker. I told them no, I wasn't. They then referred me to see a GI doctor. I went, not really knowing what to expect. During that visit, the Physician tested me for everything under the sun. I soon found that my body couldn't tolerate diary, gluten and soy. All things I consumed! I was shocked and a bit hurt because I heavily depended on eggs, cheese and milk. They finally told me that I could still have those things, but not often. I immediately felt that I could substitute milk for lactose milk, I stopped eating cheese and eggs, I decided to keep.  

Fast forward to 2018, the pain now is like a mole that I can't get rid of. I couldn't shake it no matter what I did.  I'm in a state of constant pain. But I continued to smile but at night I would just cry. I would get up every morning and start over again. This type of pain would play with your mind. It will have you feeling like you're slowly dying and there is nothing you can do. People are walking around like life is great and here I am sitting in a dark room feeling numb. There was nothing my kids or husband could do to make me feel better. Ashon begged me to go see a doctor. I felt that in doing so would be pointless. Why? Because all they do is push medicine down your throat and send you home with a bill. I'm telling him "There has to be a natural way for my body to heal itself!" I started my new job in February and realized that being in this condition + the added stress and long work hours only made it worse. My mood worsen, I became fatigued, I gained MORE weight, I was more emotional and I didn't want to be around anyone. If anyone felt that I was unapproachable, it was probably 99.98% true. Ha! 

Fast forward to August 2018, something clicked. I was sleeping way too much, my headaches were more frequent, sometimes daily, and I had body aches. I cried and cried and prayed. I'd just turned 37 on July 30th and I promise the next day I felt that I'd aged 10 years. I ended up seeing a doctor the next week. My 45 minute appointment ended up being a 2 hour appointment. There was so much going on with me that my Physician was spinning. She prescribed meds for anxiety & stressed, recommended that I started taking melatonin at night to help me sleep, she referred me to a Nutritionist. My blood pressure was high and yet, she still couldn't figure out my gut pain. She pressed on my stomach a little and I literally almost jumped off the table. She was like... "Wow, you are very tender in this area!" Then she proceeded to write down all of my symptoms.  I advised her that the pain comes and goes. Some days are better than others depending on what I eat (crying my eyes out at the time...). She needed more info so that's was the first day of what I feel could actually be the beginning of my treatment.  From there, I saw a Nutritionist who is also in weight loss clinic. I was tested more. My biggest issue is my weight and feeling like crap all the time. I found out that my hormones are all out of wack! Low testosterone to be the first. I'm severely anemic. And my gallbladder is taking a huge hit!  Yep, I'll be having surgery soon and I'm so glad that I am finally getting answers. 

THE PLAN GOING FORWARD

Food Plan

First things firsts, remove all things that adds stress to my life.  Which led me to shutting down my Facebook page, not watching certain things on TV and not talking to certain people. What I've realized is that I'm making changes to help better my ability to not react to certain things, learning how to say NO and being okay with that, no matter how it makes someone else feel. I'm just not in a place where I want to over extend myself anymore. 

Second, I've been placed on a strict meal plan. Tell me what you think;

What's not allowed: Fruit juice, corn, potatoes, carrots, rice, pasta, flour, beer, wine or alcohol, oatmeal, grits, potato or chips of any kind, candy, cakes or any sugary items. Avoid alcohol and minimize caffeine to one cup a day. Do not drink juice or any sugary beverages.

What is allowed: 

Cooked Vegetables (measure 1/2 cup uncooked): Broccoli, cauliflower, collard greens, spinach, cabbage, asparagus, onions, string beans and green beans.

Uncooked Vegetables (measure 1/2 cup): Kale, lettuce, spinach, onion, cucumbers, celery, broccoli, cauliflower and red peppers.

Fruit: Grapefruit, Grapes, Apples, Oranges, Strawberries, Cherries and Blueberries. 

Lean Meats (approx. 50 calories per ounce): Steak, Hamburger, Ham, Lamb, Ribs, Roast Beef, Pork, Deli meats (nitrate free) and hot dogs. 

Poultry:  Chicken, Turkey, Chicken Sausage, Ground Chicken and Turkey.

Fish: Salmon, Sardines, Trout, Cod, Halibut, Grouper, Tuna, Lox, Flounder and Sashimi (no rice).

After my first week I've noticed that I have a weakness for snacking. I crave junk food at night. So I am looking for a healthy night time snack. 

Takisha

My plan:  

Walk 30 minutes a day

Drink 8 bottles of water (and wear a diaper) BOL 😂

More frequent meals to include above list

SLEEP 

Journal

See there is nothing fancy about this... my goal is to just stay consistent! I plan to document this journey and I'm asking for prayers. I will need them!

Join me on Instagram at Transforming Takisha

Let's Be Real For A Moment...

There is so much I want to say and to be honest, I don’t know where to begin. Do you ever feel like you’re doing so much to please everyone but yourself?

Disclaimer: This post is for my fellow Moms and/or Wives.

Guess what? I get tired.

No. I am tired.

Am I allowed to even admit that?!

Rarely do I read or hear about other Moms who really struggle. Let’s be real, I understand that we have to paint a picture of perfection.  I can’t, and I won’t. I struggle. Bad.

With all that is going on, I’m not a complainer. Just not in me. This is my life and even though I struggle from time to time, I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone else’s.

But today, I am struggling with hurt and change. I’m learning to lean on God more and more these days.  Learning to open up more, trust more and it’s not easy. Some may say that I’m difficult, but I say that I am just careful. I’m not afraid to say what I’m feeling. Now don’t confuse that with trusting my feelings. No, no and no! WE don’t do that!

2 Corinthians 10:5
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Trusting God is a process. But it’s okay to admit when things aren’t well.  I say these things because I refuse to be victim of my circumstance!
How about you? How are you doing? I want you to be honest with yourself. Are you truly okay? What is the condition of your heart? Let's talk.

Rebuilding Trust In Your Marriage

Hey y'all!

We took a week off for a much needed vacation. You can read about it in my next post.  We are back and well rested! Did you miss me!? lol
I came back wanting to talk to you about trust. Trust is something that I struggle with tremendously.  Not just in my marriage, but in all of my relationships. Yes, I have issues y'all. But this is a no judgement zone and we are going to be real about this thang.

Rebuilding+Trust


I would like to consider my marriage to be solid.  My husband has never cheated and never gave me a reason to feel that he has. So we are not talking about trust due to infidelity here.  We are talking about TRUSTING period. So I want to tell you a story about how my trust issues began in my marriage.

Back in 2007, when I married, I was a confused.  Before marriage, I knew that Ashon was my husband before the courting process started, but still felt that we both needed time before jumping in.  When he proposed to me, Ashon was planning to attend law school. Not really knowing where, we had our eyes on the University of Florida.  It was simple. We both discussed that he would attend since he’d already received his Master’s Degree there and we both were very well established in Gainesville.  The simple choice was to stay put and that’s what we agreed to do.

He applied to University of Florida, Creighton, Hofstra and University of Denver and was accepted to all of them.  He was put on a waiting list at the University of Florida.  Even then, I knew he would be accepted to UF so I didn’t feel the need to worry.

Ashon didn’t want to wait. He had offers. But my hope was leaning towards UF. I knew that UF was his top choice but I could tell he was devastated to not have been chosen immediately.  After discussing it with his parents, he chose Hofstra in Hempstead, NY.  He proceeded on and paid the necessary fees and accepted their offer.   A few months in, he received notice that UF had in fact, offered him a seat.  I was stoked and I knew he would accept the offer at UF.

he+declined+it.jpg

He declined it and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why.  I asked him. He said he had already accepted his seat and paid the fees to attend Hofstra. WHAT?!  In my head, that was the craziest thing I had ever heard.  I said but you ARE HERE! Like, right here at UF!!  Why would you pick up and leave and move to and other part of the country? The money that you lost can be made up by not moving. And that's when he said it... He said, "I just want to go". 

He actually wanted to go.
From the conversations that we've had in the past, he only expressed to me that he wanted to attend UF. So there it was, he made the decision to go as a single man.  An unmarried man.  A man who I then felt, didn’t have any clue what he wanted.  So how can you say you want to marry me and not consider me when making such a big decision?  There was no way, at that point trust him to make decision for me or my son.  All the trust I had in him was gone.

ME: Am I to leave my support system, and move across the country to be with a man who had no idea how to make a sound decision or even keep his word?

I made it clear that I was not to leave and move away.  And told him that we would have a 3-year engagement until he completed law school.  Long story short, he left and I was devastated.  Why? Because he allowed outsiders to come in and influence his decision. 

His immediate family.

The trust that was lost was the beginning to a 10-year battle.

So how do you overcome a year struggle of trust issues? Take my advice and deal with it as soon as possible.  Don’t allow it to grow and fester into bitterness and resentment.

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Remove all outsiders who don’t have your best interest at heart – as one. This alone keeps confusion out of your marriage.  This is where it all starts. Your spouse should know that they can count on you. If you are committed to a decision, stick to it.  That may mean not talking about it with others outside of your marriage.  You’ll often find a ton biased opinions. Most of those opinions won’t be fair to your spouse. If you read Matthew 19:6, Jesus addressed this when he said that no one was to ever come between a husband and a wife. No one! And no thing.  No mother or father was meant to divide the covenant with each other.  Failure to shift your loyalty, especially if the other spouse has done so, will cause issues in your marriage.  Make sure your actions and what you say, line up. This is all about trust. Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. It requires that both parties have patience.  When your actions line up with what you say, it becomes much easier for the offended to break down those walls. This is where I’ve drawn a line in the sand.  Have you ever heard the saying “You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water”? Well this is it! Showing that your actions will line up with what you say is step one of taking responsibility of your actions.  This is something my husband has displayed in the last month or so.  It’s been good seeing the effort. Lastly, PRAY! Pray without ceasing!

In short, rebuilding and reconnecting can be fun. Be okay with being open with each other.  Make trust your happy place again.

Note to self: You are worth the sacrifice.

5 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

5 things about me

Okay so I'm letting a few cats out of the bag with this one.  Listen, before you read this, just know that this is a NO JUDGEMENT zone! Kay?!  This will give you a glimpse of Kisha that I call my private truths. Things I vowed to really never tell anyone else outside of my husband and close family members. 

Here goes:

#1 - I Hate Kool-Aid.

I am no fan to cool-aid. I hate it! Kids and hubby loves it but it's not allowed in our home. Like EVER! This is the one thing that I grew up drinking. There was nothing else. I remember making a vow early on that I would never force this drink on my kids. I have to laugh at myself now because when we visit friends and family members who have this drink, they literally beg for it. I almost always give in to them! 

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#2 - I Stole My Parents Car

No joke! When I was in the 8th grade, my parents left home to go fishing one summer. My brother and I realized soon after that they left the keys home to the other car. We lived in a small town and decided to go for a joy ride. I called my cousin and (who was so desperately trying to come over that day), told her that we were finally on our way. My brother and I took the back roads to her house and picked her up. When my parents returned home, they didn't question it because they thought my Aunt dropped her off. Nope! My sister (who can't hold water) told on us! Let's just say that was the worse summer ever!

#3 - The Scariest Movies

Growing up, there were two movies that scared be beyond what I could comprehend. Those two movies were Alice In Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz.  For someone to make such movies, ought to be ashamed of themselves. When I say gave me nightmares!! Oh my goodness... To this day, I cannot watch these movies. I can remember when I would have nightmares about them.  For The Wizard of Oz, it made me feel that I would get lost and never be able to find my home again. For Alice In Wonderland, I just couldn't deal with a talking animals. 

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#4 - I'm Terrible At Math! I wouldn't go as far to say "terrible", but more so intimidated by it. Can you believe that? Yep, you read that right.  I can't do math like that! I think my math skills are as good as a 3rd grader. It makes my brain hurt. When the kids have math questions, I immediately say "Go to your Dad!".  I  don't feel bad! I am not one of those Moms who feels guilty if I can't do everything. I'm good. LOL He (The Lord) knows my limits. 

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#5 - I'm 90% OCD!

Remember when I said this is a no judgement zone?! Well this is the part where that rule applies. Why do I feel like I have OCD? I have a huge fear of being contaminated with germs. It's so bad, I can't take care of my sick kids or husband. (crying) I trrrryyyyyyyyy!!!  I really do! I just can't bring myself to do it. It's also so bad that I won't allow my kids to use public bathrooms. This is when I'm the most irritated. I am repulsed by the thought! In my home, I'm the one who sanitize the areas of the house that no one else thinks about. I'm the Mom who makes her kids wash their hands before touching her. BOL!! Oh boy! My truths are seriously coming out. Yes, that's me. Sorry guys! Lol

There you have it! Now it's your turn to tell me something about you that no one may know.

Project Restoration: You Are as Healthy as You Want To Be!

Health

Yesterday morning, I woke in pain. I got out of bed, started to walk and my left leg gave out on me. I was shocked! I wasn't expecting it and didn't feel the pain until I took my first step. Ashon ran to my side to see if I was okay. I was but tried my best to put on the bravest face that I could. Ladies, you know how we do....LOL

You see, I'm not new to pain! I've struggled with pain for so long that I've become numb to it. It all stemmed from a car accident I had in early January of 2008.  An accident that left me with permanent nerve and back damage. For 10 years, it has kept me from maintaining an active lifestyle.  You see it's easy for one to look at me and assume that I'm just "lazy". I'm far from lazy. I maintain healthy eating habits and maintain moderate at-home workouts. But yesterday, I asked myself "Am I doing enough? Can I do more?" I began to cry because I know what it is that I do but I can't for the life of me figure out what I am doing wrong.  More water? More walking? Should I just not eat at all? I am so frustrated!!!! Like seriously, I have no one I can confide in when it comes to this area of my life (outside of my husband). I came to a hard truth, saying to myself, "Kisha, You are as healthy as YOU want to be!"  So I'm on a mission to answer all the questions that I have within myself. I feel that I tried everything that everyone else has told me to try but I don't feel that I've done what's in the best interest of my body and what I need specifically. 

Assumptions

Healthy is a state of being. Not a size. It defines who you are inside. It doesn't define anyone else but you. Our health is something we as people have to deal with on our own.  It requires strength and guidance from God. 

Here are a few things that motivates me now more than ever for me to get this right;  

1.  To be a good witness.

2.  My body is God's Temple for me to take care of.

3. It Glorifies God.

That's it. For those reasons alone, I can do this!!  (*chanting* I am strong, I am smart, I am capable... Ha!)  After we accept Jesus into our heart, God gives us His Spirit to help us live the kind of life He wants us to live. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us that.

Cleanse

My plan of action is prayer and fasting. During this time I will start a 10-day cleanse filled with fruits and vegetables. Along with the cleanse, I will also detox my gallbladder and liver. This requires that I have no sugars, caffeine, starch, yeast, dairy or meats. The struggle!

This is how I must begin this journey, for me. My health will be more successful when I weed out all the bad and become more focused on the good.  

Can we agree that we feel better when we infuse our bodies with things that are good? Can we also agree that a size 8 can be just as healthy as a size 18?  Yes, I said it... because it's true! A size 8 is no better than a size 18!!
This is a journey to which I will strive for physical and spiritual health. I pray that I become more in tuned with the Father, deepening my relationship with God and serving Him ultimately. That is the goal.

Are you ready to join me on this Spiritual journey to complete restoration?